Man's Best Friend by Sabrina Carpenter

 Album of My Youth 

Opinions are obviously very subjective, so for me to say this album is one of the best of all time is very easily debatable and should someone choose to challenge it, they would probably have solid points to make based on their opinion. That being said, it is subjectively one of the best albums of all time. My ability to enjoy any piece of work, from movies to music, is and will always be based on its ability to evoke emotion out of me and never just on its ability to entertain. I did not major in music in university so I have no idea how to determine the quality of an album, all I have are my thoughts and feelings. So literally argue with the wall.

One of my favourite things about this entire album is that not one song is about a man cheating on her. It is in its entirety about how disappointing the men she has encountered are at every turn and if I can’t relate to any other feeling regarding romantic relationships with men, I have disappointment down to a science. When we speak of the horrors of being with men, it’s always about the pain of cheating but there’s just so many more ways a man can let you down. Let’s talk about it. 

Won't you let an innocent woman be

Manchild

Like many songs in this album, the lyrics are coated with sarcasm and a touch of self criticism. You can tell she’s exhausted by men but she’s slowly becoming exhausted with herself for constantly gravitating towards these men. “And I swear they choose me, I’m not choosing them”, something I too tell myself when I’m deep in thought and start to wonder if I am somehow attracting these men subconsciously.

 Manchild is the perfect single to start the album and introduce it to the world even before its release. It’s almost as if she’s pleading with them to either wise up or leave her alone, but I also get this feeling of pleading with herself to wise up and leave them alone. One of my favourite parts is actually the first verse where she pretty much lists all the red flags in the man, and yet she continues to allow him access to her to the point where he’s “taking all my loving from [her]”. It’s interesting how our brains can recognize these things and still pursue something, hope is powerful. Manchild is a great criticism of emotionally immature men and the confusion around why and how they are the way they are. A forever mystery.

I get wet at the thought of you being a responsible guy

Tears

One of my favourite things about this 26 year old woman is how expressive and proud she is of her sexuality. See, this world doesn’t like to acknowledge that women also enjoy and desire sex and we are taught from a very young age to be embarrassed by our sexuality. Sex, for women, should only ever be about reproduction, that’s the only time its talked about. I champion any woman who challenges that stigma, and Sabrina does. Especially in Tears. 

At its core, Tears talks about how desperate we can be just for men to be good people. That’s it. It’s below the bare minimum. We like you, we want you, in more ways than one, can you just be a decent human being so I don’t have to convince myself that it’s okay to want you? “Remembering how to use your phone gets me oh so hot” “A little respect for women can get you very very far”, like VERY far. “Considering I have feelings I’m like why are my clothes still on”, the hard work is quite literally done, I’m half way there, just do the very bare minimum. Please. This is where we are now, you don’t even have to exceed the bar anymore, just meet it. Yet still they fail.

Can I return it? Get back the version I like?

My Man on Willpower

Her use of comedy in her lyrics is probably one of my favourite things about this album. The way she softens the blow of the very soul crushing emotions she expresses with satirical words is amazing. An all too common coping mechanism when we are forced to deal with these things. 

My Man on Willpower has a very melodic and upbeat production but when listening to the lyrics, especially if you can relate, you realize how sad the song really is. The way men are able to drop their admiration and love for their partner on a random day is truly a superpower. Yesterday you couldn’t resist me, and now a life without me exists in your mind? “He used to be literally obsessed with me, I’m suddenly the least sought after in the land”. Where did this determination come from? It has to be a joke, the inability to make it make sense means it has to be a joke. “You’re so silly baby.”

It's your seventh last chance honey, get your sorry ass to mine

Sugar Talking 

Don’t we love a charming manchild? Now I won’t lie, this song grew on me. Upon first listen, it felt so out of place because I thought okay she’s standing on business now, “yeah your paragraphs mean shit to me.” I’m thinking she’s saying come prove yourself that you’re sorry, show me you’ve changed or keep it on the playground because I’m not interested in your bullshit for the millionth time. Then at the end she says “it’s your seventh last change honey” and I was like ahhhhhh, there we go. 

An album that on the surface may seem largely meant to attack men is actually coated with representation of the finger being turned inwards. The entire song speaks about noticing that he’s a terrible person, and he just does the same thing over and over again but nevertheless, come to me. Your antics don’t impress me anymore, you’re not sorry and you’ll never change but I still want you so come over, but for the seventh time this is your LAST chance (spoiler alert, it’s not). And this song is where I understood the title of the album, “Man’s Best Friend” and she really is, because we do enable their bad behaviour. Every single time. How lucky are they to never have to learn from their actions because their consequences, if any, are always so temporary. 

We almost got so close 

We Almost Broke Up Again Last Night 

As with any album listener, you know your favourite song changes with every listen but you never forget your first, and this was mine. It immediately hit home. Again there’s this sense of exhaustion with yourself that resides beneath the obvious themes in this song. “Big deal we’ve been here before and we’ll be here tomorrow”, aint nothing but a word! I should care more about getting so close to breaking up but why would I? It’s nothing new. 

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I hate meeting new people, I hate opening up myself to someone new and when you’re like that you hold on to any thread of hope that you can stay with the one you’re with for as long as possible. At some point the arguments begin blurring with each other and you don’t even know what you’re fighting about, but you know you both will never be able to cross the line, “All the I love you’s and I’m sorry’s were said.” The usual. Same time tomorrow?

Could you raise him to love me maybe?

Nobody's Son

Again, great use of an upbeat production and comedic lyrics to soften the blow of a very familiar depressing feeling. Different man, same ending. Just when I thought there was an attractive, single, and somewhat sensible man that can take me off the market he comes with the same empty, one-size-fits-all excuse, “I think it’s time we took a break so I can grow emotionally”. 

Trying my best to keep my analysis of this very relatable album the least personal as possible, so I won’t even get started on this stupid excuse. A great song that expresses being tired of being tired. “Here we go again, crying in bed what a familiar feeling.” Can you guys come with something else for a change? Is there anything else out there or should I just continue to hang off the relationships of my friends who seem to have every bit of luck with men that I don’t?

Us girls are fun but stressful, am I right? And you got a right hand anyway

Never Getting Laid

My second favourite from the album, so clever and so very relatable. 

Okay fine, let’s break up no problem. I probably can do better than you anyway but then I suddenly remember that you are a man of your own free will and you may use that will to find someone else, and THAT I won’t allow. A very familiar (however unjust) feeling of the ugly revelation that a breakup doesn’t just result in the separation of two people, but also the possible joining of two other people. So instead, please stay inside - enjoy the sun’s rays from the comfort and safety of your bedroom window. “I just hope you get agoraphobia someday”, be afraid of outside because breaking up is painful enough but to have you be with someone else is where I draw the line. I wish you a good life without me, but not that good. “Abstinence is just a state of mind”.

Sorry I did not see the vision. Thank the Lord the fine you has risen

When Did You Get So Hot?

What a lyricist. When Did You Get So Hot provides a nice break from the daunting realizations the first half of the album held. I particularly love the first few lines, “So long untouched, bone dry not a plant can grow” because lack of sex will begin to distort your vision and your standard for attraction. Sure, there are some people who grow into their looks as they become adults - “you were an ugly kid but you’re a sexy man” - but the inclusion of those first lines makes you realize he in fact got so hot because as my people would say, ‘her oil a ride her’. It’s a very fun song that I’m sure many women can relate to, especially during that period beginning the 14th day of our cycle. 

Love when happy hour comes at 10 am o'clock on a Tuesday

Go Go Juice

I love this album so much, I don’t think I’ve ever come across a more relatable body of work in my life. By the time I get to Go Go Juice I’m thinking okay, this album literally cannot get any better. Her ability to laugh at her pain and turn it into something that can sound so joyous is honestly impressive. If you’ve seen any of Sabrina Carpenter’s interviews you’ll know that she really is a comedian in a very Gen Z way, in that she tries not to take anything seriously. But through relating to these songs I know that the ability to laugh at yourself or your situation doesn’t make it hurt any less. Go Go Juice is an upbeat song about drinking your sadness away and the effects of the alcohol giving you the courage to call an ex. Not because you miss them but just for stimulation - “just trying different numbers didn’t think that you’d pick up”-, something that’s going to occupy your thoughts for the night and give the alcohol that extra sweetness to course through your veins. We’ve all been there, I have.

Don't worry, I'll leave you feeling like a shell of a man 

Don't Worry I'll Make You Worry

Easily the best song on the album, it’s only fair competition is Never Getting Laid. It’s a really bizarre experience listening to this song. In a perfect world I would sit here and break down every line of this song and how cleverly she used this method of swapping places to bring across her message, but it isn’t a perfect world. 

Upon initial listen you’d think this song is extremely toxic but so rhythmically pleasing (hats off to the producers of this entire album, seriously) but then I started to realize she’s kind of giving the same energy as Beyonce in If I Were A Boy - sans obvious metaphor. “And I never call you right back, but when I do I’m making you laugh”, I think that was the line that made me realize she’s singing in the man’s place. Then the song begins sounding completely differently. You realize how intentional men can be about their actions, and just how clever they are when manipulating the women they know are interested in them. 

The title alone perfectly encapsulates the song as a whole, don’t worry about getting clarity from me because you’ll never get it so there’s no point in wondering if I like you because I’ll never tell/show you. I will, however, show you at every turn that I’ll never take you seriously but I’ll give you just enough so you stay attached. 10/10 track from the production, to the voice, to the lyrics, to the meaning. 

But never enter through the back door

House Tour

Absolutely gushing over how much of a personality album this is. “And I promise none of this is a metaphor” when in fact all of it was indeed a metaphor. 

Dare I say, sometimes a girl just wants sex? 

I have to hold myself back from breaking down every song line by line but this one is hard because it's just written so perfectly! I love how she starts by thanking him for the pleasantries and talking about his interests - none of which she really cares about. Then offers him a house tour which is a double entendre as she cleverly likens different aspects of the house to her body. Unfortunately, it's not very "ladylike" to just say you want a man biblically, alluding to it is all we have and hoping he picks up on the signs. I especially love how she says "You don't have to love me, I'm just too proud of my design to dim the lights",  just genius! The most fun song on the album!

The feeling's so specific, wanna punch you every other minute

Goodbye

An end to the journey, and a great example of how being the nice girl - being a man's best friend - gets you absolutely nowhere and it gets you nothing. After all she put herself through, all the forgiveness and the enabling of bad behaviour he still left her. "I have cried so much I almost fainted" I'd like to think a lot of the pain in the tears are from the disbelief that he still didn't stay and he still didn't change no matter how much of herself she gave to him. It's one of the worst feelings that accompany a breakup.

On the contrary to Sugar Talking, she really is done this time and she needs him to know that this time is permanent. I don't really like the idea of finding comfort in the fact that he'll regret his actions and return "Just give it three weeks buddy, gonna wake up from your coma honey", that shouldn't comfort her. He's gone and he shouldn't ever come back. "Goodbye, means that you're losing me for life". Perfect last song on the album. 

The Album Cover

Media literacy is dead, and it pains me. Although I don't fault her for not explaining the concept, I hated how no one used any critical thinking skills to understand what the title and cover were portraying and just instead dragged her. How, in the world, is an album with the lead single titled "Manchild" about being a servant to men? 

It's obviously about how her insecurities and desire to be in a relationship/be loved by a man works in his favour because she finds a way to excuse his mistreatment every time. She's unintentionally a man's best friend because he loves the way she sticks around allows him to never change.