THE YAPOSPHERE

 A Case Study: Ariana Grande & TheWizardLiz Now let me preface this by saying I am a massive MASSIVE Ariana Grande fan, and it was actually an interview she did on the eternal sunshine press run that made me realize most of what I am about to say. I am also not a fan of The Wizard Liz ( given name Lize Dzjabrailova ). I watched a couple of her videos many moons ago and her message along with her delivery was never my cup of tea. I’m pointing these out so you know that my biases to these women have no bearing on the opinion I’m about to give.  I spoke about this a while back, when Liz had first become pregnant with Landon’s child and their break up was all over social media. An ever unfortunate consequence of being a public figure. Although the details of Ariana Grande’s breakup weren’t as public, it’s fair to assume that the content of eternal sunshine, and its deluxe, told enough about that story. So let’s start with fear .  A powerful 4 letter word .  Of course...

I remember seeing this post once that said majority of the bodies that were found in the desert that had died from dehydration were found with water on them. And how that showed that humans would rather die than to live a minute without hope. What a profound discovery.  I don't think we are meant to live in despair, I don't think we are meant to walk around without even a sliver of hope for tomorrow. That's why depression is such a quiet and lethal killer, and I never understood until I felt real hopelessness. Of all the phases life has brought me through, hopelessness was the absolute worst.  There is something about despair that makes you feel completely empty, void, filled with nothingness and nothing at all - no amount of food, or love, or music, or sex, or meditation can ever fill that vacuum. You just sort of hope that one day you wake up and it returns. You operate outside of yourself and you suddenly become conscious of every move you make, moves you never noticed b...

  Kelly & Ryan, The Office  I actually recorded an episode for The Yapology Pod on this topic but thought it was a little too unserious for the podcast. Also, I recorded that episode when I was in a different state of mind and I didn't want that tied to Yapology because we talk about important stuff over there. Not that getting back with your ex isn't an important topic but just not Yapology worthy.  If I don't have any fanatics over here, in The Office Kelly and Ryan (and the actors that play them) engage in a very toxic on and off relationship so I decided to use them for the header today.  I basically have two schools of thought regarding this topic and I think if you like one, you won't like the other.  DISCLAIMER: If you are in an abusive relationship in any way, shape, or form, neither opinions apply to you at all! 1 in 8 Billion I don't think people really understand the rarity it is to find your person in this lifetime. There are literally billions o...

  When it comes to commentary, I always like to first take a look at the most popular ideologies regarding a subject.  Bad behaviour from men isn’t new. They have been taking advantage of women and our ability and willingness to love them completely since the dawn of time. However, there’s been this new trend of attributing this bad behaviour to a DL status. Which just means they’re secretly gay and therefore they can’t form healthy emotional attachments to women.  I heavily disagree.  Hear me out. Homosexuality & the History of "Down Low" Men  Last time I checked the only requirement for being a gay man is that you are attracted to the same gender. I’ve never seen science add the inability to be loyal to women and emotionally attach to them as a determinant of homosexuality. I don’t understand how the two correlate with each other. I think there is a more sinister reason to this new phenomenon that I’ll reveal in a bit.  DL men aren’t new, they have be...

Adulthood in a Picture It truly is a crime that the start of adulthood is noted as the day you turn 18. Why 18? What’s so special about it? Is it because that’s the age most of the people in the western world graduate high school? It has no other significance to the end of being a teenager because 19 is right there, so why 18? Perhaps its the earliest that capitalism can start to bleed us dry because that’s the age we’re officially done with mandatory education.  Whatever the reason, I think of all the things that signifies adulthood, age is the most inconsequential. Adulthood does not welcome you when you turn 18, in fact it attacks you quite aggressively one random Tuesday when you realize this is indeed your life and no one is coming to save you. And yes, I know the current trend online is to talk about all the people that love you and will come to save you but no, they won’t. They can help you but this life that you are living at the moment is yours and no one around you is goi...

 Album of My Youth  Opinions are obviously very subjective, so for me to say this album is one of the best of all time is very easily debatable and should someone choose to challenge it, they would probably have solid points to make based on their opinion. That being said, it is subjectively one of the best albums of all time. My ability to enjoy any piece of work, from movies to music, is and will always be based on its ability to evoke emotion out of me and never just on its ability to entertain. I did not major in music in university so I have no idea how to determine the quality of an album, all I have are my thoughts and feelings. So literally argue with the wall. One of my favourite things about this entire album is that not one song is about a man cheating on her. It is in its entirety about how disappointing the men she has encountered are at every turn and if I can’t relate to any other feeling regarding romantic relationships with men, I have disappointment down to a...

The presentation of your life, if you choose to share it, does not have to be easily digestible or perfectly curated for whatever organizations decide will sell this month. The mess is good. Waking up in a regular house that isn't painted beige & grey is fine, not having a 12 step skin care routine is fine too. Drinking mint tea instead or hot chocolate instead of matcha is fine. I swear if you don't mimic something that you see online that is perfectly marketed to attach to your desires (aka your wallet), your life is just as beautiful & just as perfect. Even if it's a little messy. It's you, and if you're going to give this world the privilege to know you then they should know the real you. Not the one you think will be acceptable because it already was.  Authenticity over Trends! 

Turn the wigs around!  Dreamgirls and Colleen  Growing up I never got the hype around this movie. A staple in the black community for sure, but outside of that and it being a breakthrough role for Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson, I never really understood why it was so popular. My older sisters watched this movie nonstop when I was a child and I never got why - that was until the harsh reality of life got its chance with me. What a masterpiece of a film. Themes that have been explored in so many other movies seemed to hit so much deeper in Dreamgirls. Each rewatch as an adult, which has been oh so many times,  resulted in a fulfilling feeling of growth and transformation. I feel brand new every single time! Then I realized why I never got the hype, a child should stay in a child's place. So let's talk about it!  Deena  Incredibly misunderstood. From the beginning you could tell - much like the actress that portrayed her - that she wanted to be successful. Deena saw ...

  Resentment is dangerous because of its silence. Unlike anger, there is no real way to express resentment. Its ability to coexist with other emotions by giving them precedence is where the harm in resentment lies. It sits there, and feeds off your ignorance, nay your avoidance , of its presence. Building and waiting on its moment to make itself known. To notify you that this person or situation that you thought was out of sight, out of mind, has simply been out of sight.  Time is what heals all wounds, but the passage of time has no power without you doing your part in the healing process. Think about if you broke a bone, if the doctor doesn't set it back into place will it heal as it was?  So every time you're reminded of this heartbreaking and painful situation, just be. Be reminded and be resentful, until you aren't anymore. Find comfort in the impermanence of everything, emotions included.  It will go away, but you have to let it be.  🎧  R e s e n t m...